some interesting questions and answers about sex and men:

I like this guy, and we hang out about twice a week, but it seems like I’m always paying for stuff, whether it’s for a movie or dinner. What should I do? - Christie, 20

Is that a moocher alert you hear ringing in your head? Money matters are sticky even between friends and family, much less a guy you like.

First of all, try to recall the times you’ve gotten the bill. Did you offer to get this round? Did he make a counter offer “I’ll buy you dinner the next time round”, or did he just quietly accept your offer of payment?

Chat and find out more about him. Maybe he’s currently going through a financial crisis – medical bills, in between jobs, paying off study loans, etc. It may not give him an excuse to mooch off you, but at least you will know that he’s not a moocher.

Try dropping a few subtle hints – “Hey, I got the last one, why don’t you get this one?” If you can’t get the words out of your mouth, just pretend to be busy with something when the bill comes, or just excuse yourself and head to the ladies’ room. Unfortunately, if he still looks at you expectantly when the bill comes or when you return from the restroom, ditch him. The boy only sees you as a walking cash dispenser.

How do I break the news to him that I dislike sex? I'm running out of excuses to avoid bedroom activity! - Amber, 22

There are only that many times that he’ll believe you’re having a headache, and a limit to the number of excuses you can cook up. Just tell the truth, but break it to him gently, and tell him that you just don’t enjoy sex. Although it might be clichéd, you should also tell him that it’s not him, it’s you.

The fact is, not everyone will enjoy sex. The following reasons could result in a person’s aversion to sex:
• sexual violence
• stress
• violence
• drug use
• fear of pregnancy
• depression
• self-consciousness
• pain during sex

If you’re stressed or depressed, you can take some time out for quality time to recharge. If you’ve been sexually abused, you can contact the relevant authorities to do something about your abuser and bring closure to the situation, or undergo counselling.

If you encounter pain during sex, you may not be aroused enough, In this case, you can give some useful hints to your man, such as guiding his hand, or telling him that you like certain things he does. Tip: Give him positive pointers rather than saying “I don’t like you doing this.” Constructive feedback is much better and also doesn’t spoil the mood. Another reason for painful sex could be vaginismus, a treatable condition where there is involuntary tightness of the vagina during attempted intercourse.

To combat your fear of pregnancy, always use a condom and practice safe sex. For more permanent birth control methods, opt for Intrauterine System (IUS), birth control pills or injectable contraception.

Alternatively, you could simply be asexual – someone who simply does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which can be a chosen way of life, asexuality is just part of who we are. It does not affect our lives positively or negatively, and is just beginning to be the subject of scientific research.

Once you’ve figured out the cause, it will be easier for you to have a chat with your man, and give him time for you to find a solution. It’ll be a lot easier to tell the truth, rather than have to create new excuses every time he’s in the mood.

I met a guy at a friend’s party and I really like him. We exchanged SMSes and things were going great. However, lately I feel like his answers are short and curt, and I’m the one doing all the talking. What’s up? – Char, 21

There are two possible reasons for this: One is that he’s starting to develop feelings for you and being a typical male, he’s probably too freaked out and keeping away from you before he decides if he wants to take this further. The other reason is (and I’m sorry for being harsh) he’s just not that into you.

Stop texting him. If he misses you, he’ll make the first move, and then you’ll know he’s into you.

Whenever you have the urge to text him, distract yourself by doing something that will keep your mind off him. This will keep you busy till he realises how great you are, or prepare you for his eventual disappearance.